By Self

"No mamma, by self" is heard around my house about a million times a day now. I know it's typical for this age and I usually go along with it even though it takes a hundred years to do anything (get dressed, brush teeth, eat, etc). Today at the park was much of the same.
Our park has two areas of playground equipment that each have four or five slides. Before today, Max had mastered all but one of the slides and spends most of his park time sliding down them screaming "By self!!" Well today he decided he was going to conquer the Big Slide. This slide is about 5 and a half feet high and you have to climb up this maze thing to get to it. Until this afternoon I didn't think he could even get to the top, much less be brave enough to slide down.
He did get to the top and I stood next to the slide and asked if he wanted help to slide down. Of course his response was, "No mamma, by self!" So I stood by gritting my teeth and feeling proud and a little sad that my little guy was getting so big and let him slide down himself. This seemed like the right thing to do, you have to let them grow up and be independent and try things on their own. Boy was I wrong!!
Max is a very small boy who only weighs 22 lbs with shoes on and the momentum he worked up as he slid down that slide was a little more than either of us had anticipated. Instead of slowing down at the bottom, he was lifted into the air and was catapulted several feet past the slide and landed face first in the sand.
We both froze for a second and then I picked him up. He had sand in his eyes, in his mouth, and up his nose. His little body was just trembling in my arms. I felt like such a jerk of a mom to have stood by and watched this happen. And then, and I'm not making this up, he looked at me with a quivering chin and tears in his eyes and said, "By self, I slide by self mamma" and then he started to cry.
Does that not just break your heart?
So at the end of the day we are both a little braver and a little wiser, so I suppose it is a good thing. Although I think he'll be sneezing sand for the rest of the week.